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Isn’t it ironic?

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alanis_morissetteSorry if you were doing a search on Alanis Morissette and ended up here.  I’m just channeling her today, sans the early post-breakup rage…  just a little thoughtful, reflective indulgence.  I’m a writer, what else do you expect?  So, I’ll get right to it – my kid called someone else’s kid a name.  There, it’s out.  Maybe you’re thinking ‘these things happen’ or ‘that’s just part of growing up’.  However, you have to see the irony in the fact that I’m the author of a children’s book all about being nice. 

My husband is a pretty nice guy, and I, seeker of all things kind and mutually respectful, find ‘nice’ as more of a mission than an adjective.  So by simple equation, nice guy + nice girl = nice kids should compute… right?  Isn’t the fruit supposed to fall close to the tree?  I can’t be the only one that grew up thinking the children of teachers and preachers were supposed to be a shiny reflection of their parents.  Of course, that myth was dispelled many moons ago, along with tales of dragons, unicorns, and pots of gold at the end of rainbows. 

Name-calling is definitely a no-no around our house, so I was a little shocked to learn of my daughter’s unfortunate behavior.  The thought of my child being responsible for hurting someone else is a very hard pill to swallow.  So, to get to the bottom of what drove my daughter to take leave of her senses, I was forced to get over myself and have a meaningful conversation with my daughter.  I’m still not sure she really gets it, but at least the seed has been planted.  I’ll just have to do my best to continue cultivating the message.  My kids are pretty good kids, so I don’t want to make them out to be schoolyard bullies.  However, at 5 and 2, they’re still learning the ins and outs of the Golden Rule.  It’s just a shame that this time came at the expense of another.  Luckily in this case, the kids were able to move on pretty quickly.  Crisis averted, I hope.

3 Comments »

  • Geuka | humancipate.com said:

    So let me get this straight . . . there aren’t pots of gold at the end of the rainbow?! 🙂 Seriously though, parenting continues to open my eyes and destroy the myths I’ve been holding on to. Our existence in this world is a confluence of duality . . . of opposites. So whether those opposites are good & bad, right & wrong, yes & no or any other pair, ultimately it boils down to making choices. My daughter’s mother and I continue to reinforce that message to our 9 year old. It’s a process . . . a really educational one 🙂

    It sounds like you and your husband aren’t being too hard on yourselves which is a great approach. Nothing is more powerful than love and encouragement. To the journey!

  • admin (author) said:

    Geuka,
    Thanks for your comments. Kudos to you for partnering with your daughter’s mother in providing the guidance she needs. You’re right, parenthood is quite the journey, but it’s definitely one worth taking.

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